You may have resisted the urge to buy the iphone but Christmas is approaching and phone manufacturers are launching new phones every week so, you might start thinking it is a good time to get a new mobile phone.

But what are you going to do with the old one.

There's no such thing as a free lunch. On that we can all agree, right?. And I'm afraid there's no such thing as a free ride either. . .no matter what budget airlines tell you.

Ryanair's latest whizzo scheme to grab the headlines is to replace low cost flights with no cost flights. Yeah, right!

There IS a God. Well, maybe not, but if there were one he would definitely have signed the successful 1300-name petition that stopped George Wimpy building a 13-story apartment block near one of the North’s best boozers. . . the Free Trade Inn.

Michael Winner is probably responsible for some of the worst films ever made - not to mention a seriously irritating catchphrase from a TV ad that for some inexplicable reason entered into the nation's psyche.

To have survived as long as he has and still remain in the public eye on the back of so little talent is, in my view, a remarkable achievement.

So, given my lack of general respect for the man's work I found it intensely annoying to discover I actually quite like him.

It was 4am when the phone rang. My wife got there first while I fumbled around trying to switch on the bedside lamp.

It was Sam, our eldest son, who we’d dropped off at university in Cardiff – more than 300 miles away – just a week earlier.

“Hi! Eh, I’m in hospital. . . don’t panic

I've been guilty of being a paranoid parent over the years. . . and even though my kids are now both teenagers I still give them a hard time if they don't reply to my texts to keep me informed of their whereabouts.

Then a friend forwarded an email to me the other day that made me realise what a total hypocrite I've become!

'Ben and Jerry ice cream increases your life expectancy by 100 years'. Somehow, I doubt very much the validity of that statement.

Where's the scientific evidence to back it up? How come there hasn't been a paper published in The Lancet?

My eldest son, Sam, is clearly thrilled to have been offered a place at his first choice university.
Why wouldn't he be? He's been working towards his ambition of studying film and media production for the past three years or more.
But as freshers week approaches, there's a hint of panic in the air. . . for both of us.

The dawning of a new era is imminent in the Oxley household. . . our eldest is off to uni.
Next month he'll be hundreds of miles away surrounded by strangers in a strange city and preparing for a life of hedonistic excess and junk food.

What is it about my demeanour as I stroll through the streets of Newcastle that makes complete strangers look at me and think to themselves. . . 'that man needs a conservatory' ?