Titanic fails to float the boat
The trouble with Titanic, the latest drama from Julian Fellowes, is that it just didn't float the boat.
The first episode of the four-part series failed to capture the imagination.
Anything following in the wake of THAT movie, of course, was always going to hit an iceberg.
But it wasn't just that.
Fellowes is just so wrapped up in class consciousness that it gets in the way of story-telling.
(And, you've guessed it, not a Downton Abbey fan)
Fellowes is really Julian Alexander Kitchener-Fellowes, Baron Fellowes of West Stafford, and was hardly born with a stainless steel spoon in his mouth.
His dramas are over-stuffed with the great and the good looking down on the rest of us.
Servants - and servants often crop up in his stories - are there to do the bidding of their lords and masters.
And there were lords and masters a'plenty as the Titanic set sail on her maiden voyage.
There was much that didn't ring true about his version of the Titanic.
The queues for the lifeboats were remarkably well-ordered with none of the panic that must have happened on decks.
The berg looked more like an overgrown ice-cube with delusions of grandeur than anything remotely threatening.
Fellowes' fans will have loved it none the less, his detractors will have hated it, and his preoccupation with class sated until the next Downton Abbey.