Mine's bigger than yours

...manly posturing, the back-slapping, the self-congratulations, the obsession with size.

And the complete lack of any woman.

Not one, not a single one, turned up in the first episode of the new series.

Robson left the missus at home - for three months, no less - while filming the show.

The result was an extended exercise in male bonding as Robson found reel chums in places like Zambia and Zimbabwe.

The show was awash with superlatives as the lads compared the size of their catches.

Even netting a few tiddlers was transformed into a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

But I suppose Robson, who learned his fishing on the rivers of the North East, was allowed to boast about some of his exploits.

Not many people get to fish at the bottom of Victoria Falls or land the ferocious tiger fish - the African equivalent of the Piranha - or hunt wide-mouthed bass.

Robson did occasionally indulge his preciousness - fighting a toy monkey, what was that all about? - but that's what actors do and it was no worse than any other celebrity travelogue.

Best bit? When he was stopped at the Zimbabwean border and told he would be arrested if he didn't stop filming.

He only got through after apologising for Unchained Melody.

You only think he was joking.