White Van? Green Van? Same Van?

I'm still a snout breather, and I'm not yet searching the Internet for a cheap spittoon, but I don't doubt Gordon's statistics are correct. A team with an IQ approaching that of Carol Vorderman probably created them, but I'll bet they cost significantly more to produce than the figure obtained by multiplying four from the top and two from anywhere else. Does it really take a genius and large amounts of taxpayers' money to twig there are about three times the number of vans on our roads now than there were in 1970?

But putting government statistical spending aside, the message is still very clear. Pollution by motor vehicles is on the increase and we cannot afford to ignore it.

So beware you lung consultants at Newcastle's RVI. Don't get too smug about your job security. And you salesmen at Kleenex think twice before you trade in your Mondeos for Mercs, because the government have sent in the cavalry to save us.

We can forget our appointments at the chest clinic and cast our tissues into the compost bin, because the Transport Secretary, Geoff Hoon, is riding over the Millennium Bridge on his white horse. In a new green motoring initiative, he is giving Newcastle & Gateshead and four other councils 20 million pounds of taxpayers' money to buy and run "pollution free" electric vans.

Very admirable you may think. Green van man whirring back and forth across the Tyne bridge encouraging us to gulp lungfulls of clean air and spend any remains of our post credit crunch savings on the next generation of electric vehicles.

But are we being just a little naïve accepting twenty pieces of silver without question? Is Geoff being straight with us, or is he in danger of adding an inch or two to the length of his nose? What exactly does he mean by a "green motoring initiative"? Where will the electricity come from to run these "green vans"? There can be little that is "green" about any electric vehicle if its batteries are charged with electricity from polluting power stations.

After the Kyoto Summit in 1997 the Government agreed to achieving 10% of UK energy generation from renewable sources by 2010, so at best, ninety percent of the electricity used to power green vans would have a murky past. Most of Geoff's electricity will not be green at all. It will be as it always has been - smoky grey, a shade of sweet crude brown or light uranium yellow.

Our new electric vans may produce less fog on the Tyne, but the greenhouse gasses produced from burning fossil fuels and the pollution from the nuclear power stations will be dumped in someone's back yard. So unless he has a mind to include a proportionate increase in renewable energy production into his plans, he is at risk of being labelled a charlatan.

And if there is a political will to increase renewable energy production, you can be sure the NIMBYs will crawl out from under their rocks. They are quite happy to bury their heads and let others pay the polluting price for their energy, but will spit venom at any attempt to explore green alternatives in their back yards. Personally I'd much prefer a 90-metre wind turbine next to my wheelie bin than a nuclear reactor, or a fossil burner. Unless of course the fossils we burn are Luddite NIMBYs, of which there seems to be an inexhaustible supply.

Whatever the truth, it is perhaps fitting that the initial green van trials will be held in and around Newcastle and Gateshead, as many elements of the industrial revolution, including power generation, have their roots here in the northeast. If we can embrace the new technologies, I'm certain our industrial Phoenix will rise from its fossil fuel ashes and help us to create a renewable energy revolution.