Gone Too Soon . . . gone too far!
Oh dear . . . I appear to have upset half the planet with what was intended as a light-hearted blog entry about the Gone Too Soon website.
Ever since writing the piece I've received a constant stream of what can only be described hate mail.
And the authors all appear to agree on one thing . . . by joking about Gone Too Soon, I've Gone Too Far.
It's funny (as in funny strange rather than funny ha ha) how a seemingly innocuous comment can come back to haunt you.
I never for a moment intended to offend anyone - especially those grieving loved ones - when I wrote about the website.
I merely pointed out that, as many of the dedications are for people who have lived into their 80s and even 90s, it could be argued that the site has outlived its name.
That isn't to say the loss of an elderly loved one is any less painful than that of someone in the full flush of youth.
Nor was I suggesting that they would not be missed just as much. Grief can't be measured in years.
But, given that we all have to go sometime, if we survive beyond the average mortality rate, can we truly be said to have "gone too soon"?
Perhaps Gone But Not Forgotten might now be a more fitting name for the site.
That, in essence, was the point I was making . . . and it was really intended to draw attention to the site's name. It certainly wasn't meant to belittle the sense of loss people feel after losing an elderly relative.
I've lost elderly relatives myself, so I do understand that age does not necessarily make it any easier.
It's my sincere hope that this blog will draw a line under the matter, but I fear not. I suspect my original blog has been posted onto the Gone Too Soon website and is finding new readers every day who will feel inclined to give me a piece of their mind.
If that's the case, let's hope this blog entry finds its way there too. And if I still get hate mail, there can be but one explanation.
I really have gone too far.
Older/Newer
0 TrackBacks
Listed below are links to blogs that reference this entry: Gone Too Soon . . . gone too far!.
TrackBack URL for this entry: http://blog.sundaysun.co.uk/cgi-bin/mt421/mt-tb.cgi/32658
Well it is a bit to late for the relatives of the poor woman you mentioned on your comment
to even put her name was a bit below the belt
i have got a brother on GTS he was 53 but you prob think that is old aswell.
your type dont think before they open there big gobs.just use your brain the next time you think of saying something that will hurt someone else.
as for your apology.. you can stick it
The fact still remains the loss of any loved one at any age, always has been and always will be too soon for their families.
You referred to deceased people as stiffs!
What a disgusting term to use!
You named people!
There was just no need to do that! What about their grieving families?
If you really felt the need to target the elderly, you could have used ages alone, that would have got your point across in just the same way!
I have read the above, and sorry i see nothing more than a second attempt to get your point across, again referring to ages and the name of the site, only phrased in a more subtle way this time.
I see no real apologies to the families of the deceased people you named, or to GTS users for the term you used to refer to their departed.
And you wonder why GTS users are so angry!
I have just been drawn to the comments you made about Gone too soon. I think if you was to go onto the site you would see that there are a lot of young people on there, I have lost my son and a grandaughter and know a lot of people that have lost children , maybe if it had happened to you you would think before making hurtful comments .I have also lost both my parents, yes my mum was 87 but she was my mum so keep your cruel comments to yourself and as for your apology keep it and as Maggie said stick it where the sun don't shine !!!
excuse me exactly where is your apology i have just read what you have put down and i dont see an apology to the family's you named or to gts members no matter what age people are when they passover they are still gone too soon to the loved one's they have left behind
That wanst much of an apology what about the people's loved one's names you used.
Well Ken
Your comments don't upset me in the least, in fact I found your article quite funny.
Life sucks and lots of people lose loved ones, but we go on and live our lives as best we can even though we're suffering. But come on folks someone aged 85 or even a lot younger shouldn't be on this site.
What on earth is wrong with you GTS people? Why do you feel the need to express your grief so publicly? Grief is a private, family matter that doesn't require an audience.
Do you need to prove to the rest of the world how much you miss your loved ones? Surely that goes without saying. GTS is nothing more than the celebritisation of the dead. And that really is sick.
What a sad situation of a lack of maturity.
Just a note for Andrew T - it might seem that way, but some people want their pain and grief to be recognised that's all. And if you're not the sort that wants to grieve publicly then this clearly isn't for you or you can even use a more sensitive service like www.muchloved.com (where you can choose to just invite friends and family to your memorial rather than allow just any any old nelly to visit). This kind of memorial service is very important, for example, to youngsters who have suffered a parental loss - they can build up pictures and memories that they will cherish & can later be passed on to future generations. My bigger problem with the 'commercial' sites like GTS is that they try to get money out of you on every possible occasion. The nice thing about sites like Muchloved and Lasting Respect is that they are free and they are charities that actually help other charities. And if you still don't like these sites, why not just stay away from them... The web's a big place after all!
Note For Andrew T -
How Can You Sit There And Say Its Sick Parents & Loved Ones who Have Lost Family and Friends Find It Very Comforting to Have GTS !
So Think befor you write these HURTFUL comments !
people Dont Use GTS to celebrate deaths but only for comfort and support and keeping the memorie of their loved one alive !
so Get Of your high horse and take a step back and think about how much it would hurt to have someone you loved on this site and then for another STUPID person like you to come on and write such a distgusting comment !
And im Only thirteen Years Of age and i felt physically sick When i write your comment
you obviously such a sick Twisted man to have come on and wrote this ! i hope your please with your self !
for all those poor people who now feel guilty for having a GTS site you should be distgusted with your self.
My six week old baby brother died and when i cant get down to the cemmentry i like to go on GTS To show im thinking about him and other familys
so Think Befor you speak next time yeah!