If the Royals were a normal family they would have ASBOs.

The Royals own huge tracts of land from which the public are barred and have prime homes in the middle of the London in which they live rent free or on a peppercorn rent.

William and Harry Windsor are supposedly in the armed forces yet seem to be allowed leave camp whenever they want to watch the football or rugby or fall out of a posh nightclub the worse for wear trying to assault passerby while being restrained by bodyguards.

Andrew Windsor spends his time and our money taking helicopter jaunts to different golf courses around the country.

Edward Windsor still hasn’t recovered from the fiasco that was ‘It’s a Royal Knockout’ – a programme which proved, if proof were needed that Royals don’t have a purpose in life.

Anne swans around public parks with an out of control dog which savages innocent members of the public forcing her to appear in court. If they were a normal family they would be ASBO’d.

Where do I begin with Charles. This is a man who reportedly took part in dirty talk with his mistress by saying he wished he was a tampon so he could be inside her constantly – how romantic!

Down the years Phil the Greek has gained more than his fair share of copy in newspapers with his so called outrageous outbursts. Among the best gems are when in 1986 during a state visit to China he told British students that if they stayed there too long they would become slitty eyed. And in 2002 he asked Aborigines if they still threw spears.

His latest so called gaffe comes from asking Oscar winner Cate Blanchett if she could fix his DVD player when she said she worked in the film industry.
Give the man a break he’s 86 years old and I’m sure when I’m that old I won’t recognise the latest Hollywood actors.

I remember once when my gran phoned a company and got a recorded answer message. She listened until the end and then politely said thankyou to the machine.
Old people say and do daft things and it’s hardly newsworthy.