Sex and drugs and sausage rolls
The dawning of a new era is imminent in the Oxley household. . . our eldest is off to uni.
Next month he'll be hundreds of miles away surrounded by strangers in a strange city and preparing for a life of hedonistic excess and junk food.
I shudder to think how he's going to cope. How will he get from A to B without me or my wife dropping everything to give him a lift at the last moment because he's missed the bus?
What will he do for clean clothes when he no longer has a washer and ironer in situ? How will he avoid starving to death with no-one to thrust a plate of food under his nose?
In short, how on earth will our truculent, forgetful, disorganised, wet-behind-the-ears, teenage mutant, post-punk-cum-emo son make it on his own?
The truth is, I'm both excited and nervous in equal measure about the changes ahead.
Excited because it means he can no longer 'borrow' my undies or socks when his are too manky to wear. . .or wake me up with his unfeasibly loud footsteps on the stairs in the wee hours after a night out with his pals.
I won't have keep tabs on my beer. Or wonder where all the biscuits have gone. And I will regain control of the TV remote, the computer and the phone.
But I'm nervous for all the above reasons too - and because his absence will alter the dynamics of the household completely.
How, for example, will his younger brother react to being, to all intents and purposes, an only child for the first time in his life?
We're about to find out. . .
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Ken
With regard to your son heading for Uni. I had the same reservations when my eldest son informed us that he was moving out to make his oun way in life.
I reckoned about a fortnight would be
the maximum as he,d just found out that his dirty washing went into the basket and not beside it.He had,nt quite mastered the art of removing the lid first,but Im sure he would have picked it up given time,he was only 30.However,there are some good signs as well,he can actually make a white shirt last for three days now,whereas at home it had to be a clean one every day.His mam still buys him odds and ends like
shoes,shirts,underclothes,etc,etc and occasionally helps with his phone bill.
So you see Ken,your son will never forget where you live,even if he is 200
miles away,I guarantee he will keep in touch..
Thanks for the reassuring comments Alan. I hope you're right. Somehow, though, I can't see my son washing and ironing of his own accord. I suspect he will make friends with the nearest laundrette. . . and discover the crumpled look works for him after all!